I haven't been sleeping lately. I go to bed around my regular time, and I end up tossing and turning for hours before finally falling asleep. So far, it's been four weeks. When it first started I was eventually falling asleep around 4:30 am. Yes, I could have got up and done something else, but I figured that if I just stayed in bed, that I'd fall asleep. I think the problem is, when I get to bed and can't sleep, my mind starts to race, and I get thinking about all kinds of things that I really shouldn't be bothered with.
The thinking too much trait is hereditary. I remember many a summer morning sitting around the breakfast table at the cottage hearing my grandfather exclaim "I was lying in bed thinking last night...", we all groaned because generally it involved some sort of physical labour. But, it's something that he always used to do. I was never overly close with my grandfather, he was a busy man. From what I remember of the story he started sweeping the floors at the company he eventually owned. So, I never asked him if the reason he was doing all that thinking was because he couldn't sleep or if it was just because he'd rather think than sleep.
So, my mind starts racing and I have no hope of sleep. I've tried reading, but that doesn't work, because I just get so involved in the book that I can't sleep till it's finished. I've tried getting up and doing something on the computer, but that doesn't work either, I'd end up playing various games till the sun came up and it was time for me to go back to work.
If I lived alone I'd actually get all kinds of things done. I'd clean, do laundry, cook, whatever. But, I don't, and I really don't think it would go over well if I fired up the vacuum cleaner at 3am because I couldn't sleep and felt like cleaning up.
On the weekend I managed to fall asleep sometime in the middle of the night. It was good sleep too, unlike the tossing and turning type of sleep I've been having. When I was rudely awakened, I was in the same position as when I finally drifted off. I've mentioned to my mother on several occasions that I haven't been sleeping, and her answer is always "What are you worried about?" It's not that I'm really worried about anything. At any rate, she knows damn well I'm not sleeping. So, you'd think that when I'm actually asleep she'd realize that it was a good idea to keep quiet so that I could actually continue. Yeah, you'd think so, wouldn't you?
Anyway, no, my sleeping problems have not been solved. I don't know why I can't sleep. I suppose I could invest in some sleeping pills, but I really don't like taking things like that unless I really need to. So far, I'm thinking that eventually, when I'm tired enough, I'll sleep. Right?
Posted by Michelle at August 19, 2002 02:56 PM