The job hunt has started again.
I loathe looking for jobs, it's really about the most demoralizing thing I can think of, which is completely ridiculous, because it shouldn't be that way, but when I have to look for a job I become terribly depressed. Usually because I don't want to be leaving the job that I'm leaving.
My most recent case goes like this. I've worked for my bookstore for almost three years now (it will be three years in September). When I started I was just a part time employee, I didn't work a whole lot till the Christmas season came around, when suddenly I was slammed with 43 hours a week. That's not really a lot, but the thing is, when you're used to only working 12, it's something to adjust to. After Christmas I went to my computer training and still worked part time at the store. When my computer training was done I got that fantastic job at the drug company which I loved to bits, and which I'm sure I would still have if my team leader hadn't been moved to Germany. However, all the time I was there I still worked for the bookstore once a week...or so.
I've tried to quit the bookstore job several times now, and each time it seems that I am unable to do so. I don't know why, but it's like there's something that keeps drawing me back there. So I got that promotion in February to Assistant Manager which came with a tiny pay raise which kept me happy for a while. However, I know that the actual Assistant Manager is going to come back from maternity leave at the beginning of October which will mean that I drop back down to my full time position, which of course means I'll drop back down to my full time hourly rate. I can't afford that, so therefore...I look for another job.
So far I haven't arrived at the terribly depressed state that usually comes with the job hunt, but I'm torn in this search. I really don't want to leave the bookstore because I love working there, however there doesn't seem to be a position for me once October rolls around, and so as much as I love what I do, I'm going to have to leave it behind and perhaps take a job that I hate just because it pays more.
How terrible is that?
Posted by Michelle at June 10, 2003 06:05 PM