I realized last night as I was securing the place up before I went to bed that I don't really feel like I live here. I mean, I've been here now for almost a month, and I feel comfortable here. I'm not worried about being here alone, or leaving it when I go off to work or wherever, but last night it occured to me that it hasn't actually sunk in that this is a permanent situation.
I feel like I'm playing house. We boxed everything up, packed it into the truck, moved it in, and I've been setting things up the way I want them, putting things where I think they belong, etc.. But, for some reason it doesn't seem like I'll be here forever.
Which is strange.
Actually, it's probably not so strange. I imagine that everyone who is in their own place for the first time probably feels something similar. After 28 years of living with one or the other of my parents (and for a while both), it just seems incredibly strange to be here on my own. I think it may have a whole lot to do with not being accountable to anyone but myself.
For instance last night, I came home from work at 9:30 and then made hamburgers for dinner. Because it was raining I didn't use the bbq, which would have made the most sense, and the least amount of dishes. After I was done, I just left everything sitting. I didn't clean up, and I didn't have to worry about anyone being upset that I didn't do it.
Of course, I cleaned it all up as soon as I got up this morning, but that's not the point. Actually, my parents would probably have been really happy if in the past the first thing I'd done after waking up was immediately clean up the kitchen.
Other strange things that I've been doing? Who knew you had to wash the dish cloth? And, did you know that just because it's summer you don't automatically have to have the air conditioning on? And the lights? They don't need to be on if you're not in the room.
Yes, now I'm being facetious. But, I'm also concerned about my hydro bill.
Posted by Michelle at June 10, 2004 09:34 AM