I've admitted that it's going to sound terrible from the outset, so please...just don't say anything.
A while ago I was sick. Well, perhaps sick is the wrong word for it. Basically my gallbladder let me down and filled with stones, which caused excrutiating pain whenever I ate anything. And yes, I do mean anything. It got to the point where I was eating turkey on plain bread with mustard every day for lunch, and fresh pasta with plain tomato sauce on top for dinner every day. Not much variation there.
Since that point I've lost a lot of weight. I don't notice it much, I look in the mirror and see myself the way I've always been. Although, since winter has hit, I've noticed that all of my winter clothes are absolutely huge. Not such a terrible thing really. And, when I see people whom I haven't seen in a long time I hear just how great I look, or sometimes that I need to eat.
So here's the terrible part. Because there are still things that cause incredible pain, and that mildly upset my stomach I'm hesistant to eat sometimes. Because really, why would I want to cause myself unneccesary pain? And as such, I think that sometimes I mistake hunger for feeling ill. I don't do it often, and I ususally realize what's going on while it's happening and I eat, and I feel better.
It hit me again today. I spent the morning at work running around like a crazy person trying to get everything done that I needed to, and in the back of my mind was that I wasn't feeling great. Eventually I went off for lunch and I realized that it wasn't that I wasn't feeling great, it's that I was incredibly hungry.
Yes, clearly I have a problem. I really don't think that a visit to the doctor is going to help though, so please resist telling me to go. I hear that often enough from people, and it's not that I'm avoiding it on purpose, I just really don't know that there's anything to be done. She's given me some pills that I take with food that help, but they don't always. So...what can I do?
Posted by Michelle at December 6, 2004 10:42 AM